I am going to start living again. I feel like before this tragedy happened I was just getting by, a zombie traipsing through life. I have made a vow today to start living again. To feel all that there is to feel, to let go of anger, to quit taking everything so seriously, to let go of fear, to breathe easier, to forgive myself and others for mistakes made....to just live again.
My sister was so full of life and she was not scared to do anything. If she was pissed, she wasn't afraid to tell you. If she was happy she made sure you knew with a song or a dance. If she thought you were funny she'd laugh so loud and hard you'd laugh too. She was fearless. She just did what she wanted to do...no holds barr. She lived.
Everyday she lived in the moment. I'm not saying she did not think about the future, she just understood that life was made up of moments; and she was going to spend hers doing what she wanted. So many of us are afraid of being who we really are. Afraid so and so won't like us or so and so wouldn't approve. Only if you were special to Emily did your opinion matter.
So, in her honor, I will fly on plane even though I am afraid to fly. I will play and laugh. I will do more than tell my family I love them, I will show them everyday! And I will forgive myself and others.
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